Writing, using opposite hands to communicate with the inner selves has been around almost as long as voice dialogue. In 1988 Linda Capacchione published ‘The Power of Your Other Hand’ and then in 1991 her best known work, ‘Recovery of  Your Inner Child’ which includes some fascinating case studies on writing, using opposite hands, to communicate with the inner child and other inner selves. The only thing to keep in mind is that this is not a party game. The selves you contact in this way need to be taken very seriously. Here is how you do it:

First find a place where you can be alone, free of possible interruptions. Take the phone off the hook. An interruption to written dialogue caused by another person is not a problem but you will find it hard to get back again.                                                        

Use an  exercise book (best if un-ruled) and with your usual writing hand write as facilitator on one page.

Then change your pen or pencil over to the opposite hand and opposite page to write the response. These interviews are valuable as later references so a book is better than loose sheets of paper.

Guidelines:

1.Begin with your dominant hand, writing something positive about yourself (and your selves) ‘You are ....... ‘ or a positive, reassuring welcome message to all of the selves.

2. Then transfer the pen or pencil to your non-dominant hand, allow your mind to go free of analytical thoughts (like ‘this is silly’ or ‘I can’t do this’) and just let the pen do whatever it wants to do for as long as it wants to.

3. Replace the pen in your dominant hand and respond in a friendly or complimentary way about whatever the other hand (the self) said or did. Then perhaps ask a question.

4. Keep going as long as you want to or as long as the selves want to, backwards and forwards from one side to the other. Do not be surprised if sometimes you go on for half an hour or more and fill several pages.

5. When writing with your dominanent hand as the facilitator be gentle and understanding. Don’t get cross or pushy, any more than you would in face to face interviewing. If you are asking questions word them in the way you would for a child and make sure they are unbiased.

6. Avoid logical or analytical questions, unless you actually want to talk to the thinking self, the mind.

When writing with your non-dominant hand expect a childish scrawl and spelling errors. If it helps to print the letters do so.

Do not be at all surprised if some of the the selves responding seem very young. If so they may not even be able to write words and may just draw pictures or have feelings. If English is not your first language, the words may may be those of your childhood home.

Overall, follow the same guidelines for interviewing as you would if working face to face (see Facilitator’s Guide sheet)

The only difference in this case is that you are now your own facilitator (with the pen in your dominant hand) as you interview your inner selves (pen in non-dominant hand and opposite side of the exercise book).

Take it seriously

Many of the parts you contact when writing tend to be the shyer or more wounded ones that came into your life when you were a child and who may not be willing come out in group sessions. (Keep a box of tissues handy.) Many seem to be natural parts rather than selves. Often your most vulnerable inner children talk to you only  this way which is why these sessions must be treated as serious activities.

Do not be surprised if you gain some incredible insights as a result of the responses. These inner selves have great understanding and wisdom about life, your life in particular.

Ending a written dialogue session

When you conclude the session, close with a written ‘embrace’ from the dominant hand, specially towards any selves that have expressed fear or vulnerable feelings. Close with a reassurance that your adult side wants to love and protect the selves you have talked with.